oh stella, im so sorry. it is so hard to wrap your brain arnuod losing someone and and how random that it can truly be. and in fact is scary and its hard not to wallow in it. i agree with danielle……take it all in…..let yourself feel and see where it takes you…..most likely a little closer to home and to your own fears. have a good look and then realize what it is and know that holding on to it and worrying about it will not actually change events so you can just let it go. i love you.xxtand you most like should eat a cupcake….not that you need anyone telling you that.