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Let me begin this story with the fact that John (my cousin/idiot co-founder of theCHIVE) can not afford this car/SUV. But on account of an episode of "Top-Gear" in which Richard Hammond basically said the G55 AMG will get you tons of hot girls, John now wants one. Help me stop him. Bonus to any correlations of Jersey Shore and the G55 AMG.
What should my cousin get instead?
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- Jersy Shore girls like this car
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- John, she likes the M5
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- she likes American power
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- but you want the G55 AMG, this car/SUV leads me to creating a post “Cars I hate”
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What should my cousin get instead?
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John, go with the M5
she's smoken hot
Hmm, it is a pretty bad ass ride i'm afraid. Flip a coin?
After being a fan of John and The Chive as a whole well before it got "big," I rarely question his judgment. The same holds true here, as I think that's a pretty cool ride.
this is not helping the joke for when he wakes up in a few hours
You look like a Jersey Shore douche, of course you like it.
How would this uglyass brick on wheels pull girls? On a tow rope perhaps. Or if it was 1982. Or if the girl was some hellhathnofury attention-seeking type who'd get in it just to try and get on the chive.
now we're talking/what should he get?
F-350 King Ranch, masculine, classy and American
It's 105k tricked out, tell him to stop being such a tight-ass and drop the extra 50k for an Audi R8.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_sshN-URJY
For 105K I would take a Range Rover over that Benz
a 1979 lime green AMC Gremlin. any man would accept the challenge of pullin mad tang in a sweet ride like that. on a side note…i happen to know where one is for sale right now
*barf*
Because they know it cost over 100k…
it strikes me that all of the hot girls were in the drivers seat not the passenger side, so maybe he should also buy some pink fuzzy dice. but must say that I am a huge fan of the chive and passionatly believe in buying american cars
CTS-V, Nurburgring, got an American car suggestion? (GT-R fans are going to love this comment)
Dodge Challenger, Daytona Edition.
If he wants to go something full size, the new Grand Cherokee got a redesign.
Surprisingly enough, the Buick Regal starts at $26,245 and looks amazing. Check it out http://www.buick.com/vehicles/current-vehicles/re…
comically, I kind of agree that the Buick looks ok and yeah, the Grand Cherokee is just a classic
Can you do this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65xRQWxBnIM on that grey box?
Get a CTS-V. Definitely.
He can't get a girl because of this vehicle. Any hot chick that gets in a guys vehicle like this would be because he either 1)has the money to waste on this monstrosity 2)because he is good looking anyway or 3) has to wear Magnum condoms.
Tell him to look HARD at pic#3. If it didn't have the Benz name on it- who on God's green earth would consider this hideous box that looks like a stretched USPS jeep?
Go with Lotus Evora or for the same money, he could go to a Mecum Auction and buy a '66 Pontiac GTO convertible to drive on even numbered days AND a '61 Corvette convertible to drive on odd numbered days.
He would have to have a take-a-number dispenser to keep the girls in line.
Range Rover Evoque.
http://www.carsuk.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/…
http://pictures.topspeed.com/IMG/crop/201009/2011…
End of.
Tell him to take "The KIA Test". Look at the vehicle from all angles. If it had the KIA name on it, would you still be looking at it?
That is awesome advice actually. I'll use that one from now on.
I hear that ride is VERY popular with trannie-lovers.
if he's lookin for chicks any bmw m series the boxy looking thing is certainly not a chick magnet perheps an m6 or the 2011 cadillac cts v that is one hot car ,,,roll up in one of those and the chicks will be licking the wisndows to get in
that thing is ugly as shit. a 4-door wrangler with sweet rims and beefy tires would look way better than that POS.
I agree four door wrangler with a lift, new rims, bigger tires, a painted hardtop, and a few other ad ons would achieve a better look than the g55 if you can get past the logo, here is a good example
http://www.customwheelsdirect.com/html/images/Sil…
Hammond is a bitter little man, the only girls this would get you are girls who want to drive it, and have a yappy little pretend dog in the glove box while they're out shopping for pink ugg boots, in fact, its so shit that…. Mmmmm boobies….. sorry, where was I….
Get a Superbird with a huge fin!
2011 5.0 or 3rd gen. 5.0? b/c I would f-ing die laughing if I walked out and he had an '87 5.0. (Aside for the money spent on 10 new transmissions and Flowmaster 2 1/4'' pipes) I'd drive a 5.0.
want women? get the caddilac cts-v coupe… ultimate panty dropper.
The way to kill this car buy — say "oh that's the car Justin Bieber has order right?"
What's F'd up is that he can actually consider purchasing an $80k to $90k car based on this piece of s.hit website. That's the real kicker in all of this. You people think your readers have $80k lying around to purchase an automobile? Is this how you relate to us – show off these cars that none of us can afford? You're so awesome, Chive. Fuc.k you.
maybe you didn't read my comment at the start of this post, where I said "Let me begin this story with the fact that John (my cousin/idiot co-founder of theCHIVE) can not afford this car/SUV."
Maybe I didn't, sir. Maybe I didn't. Unfuc.k you.
I do have to admit to never being told to unfuc.k myself, thanks for checking out the site
Hé les 'Ricains! Arrêtez avec vos SUV, ça pollue!
En anglais, peut-être? Pour les lecteurs americain?
Hot girls with this? Only because they think you have another, expensive but classy, car in the garage. This is a rich persons toy.
Its like any girl you find on the FAKE Jersey Shore, its kinda maybe hot, may seem just a little cool, may even be worth gettin in it.. but in the end its just a huge box that won't please anyone…
If hes willing to drop money on that, and not a blacked out (or whatever color of his choosing) SRT Dodge Challenger, your cousins f***in crazy!
http://wheelexperts.com/_peter/ModulareFTP/Cars/M…
sexy
also #24 is a dude
It was all cool, until 11 ruined it…
It looks like a really expensive box on wheels…
A big waste of money.
Why would you want a suv that resembles the VW thing, but costs a billion times more??? Get a Range Rover Sport, or a Porsche Cayenne S if you want a sweet ass SUV….
or a Audi Q5 or Q7!!!
He needs a car to pick up? He does know girls cost money right? Maybe he wants to pick up a bum.. or another guy.
Rick, you must prevent this disaster while there is still time
wait…John's gay!??
if he takes it offroad, i'll fuck him
POS for DBMF's
John screw the m5, the cts, and the g55… get an M3!!!
Well I would hope you can afford this car. If you brag about getting 4.5 million hits on a one link "Hot chivers"? than you must be making bank. Something doesnt add up. You keep adding more and more adds, along with pop ups(they suck). So you must be rolling in the money.
dont patronize us.
We made you we can destroy you.
He couldn't get a chick with a hundred dollar bill hanging out of his pants. That car won't help.
It's a turd wagon.
Expensive doesn't mean it's cool.
All 'cubed' or 'boxed' cars look ugly.
Rick,
It won't get him the kinds of girls he actually wants to marry or raise his kids. Just the ones he wants to have sex with. And fact is, if its just so he can have sex with them, there are cheaper ways to pay hot girls to have sex with you that don't involve prostitution. i.e. trips, jewlery, expensive dinners, clothing, whatever.
In fact, for the price of the car you could do 50 trips to vegas (almost one a weekend for a year) bring a date with a budget of $2000+ per trip. I am sure this will get your cousin laid almost 100% of the time and in fact cure him of his desire for females who want to date guys for money.
Good luck
John,
The G55 is by far the ugliest friggin thing on the roads. If you want somethin that will get you a lot of tail and go out to the middle of no-where, and looking good doing it, I suggest you invest in a quad cab pick-up with a mild lift and some beefy tires. Plus a pick-up will allow for “play time” in the bed, and you can haul even more toys.
You will really going to get girls in a sports car not a box-type jeep…
I see that the G Wagons come with some pretty decent options…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Two_Canadian_Fo…
I have been in them, on several occasions (at least the army ones) and can say readily, that this is one beautiful and capable little SUV.
Only SUV's better than a G55 would be the Range Sport or new Range Evoque … hands down … Oh wait .. don't forget about the new Porsche Cayenne TURBO … it is the s**t
This is not an SUV, it's a proper 4X4! The best in the world, fact.
G55 is the best vehicle you can own, it is versatile, fast, and overall awesome